i want!

i long for the beach..

i want to see the SUN during sunrise..

i miss Apiz..

i want to go to the beach with Apiz and watch the sunrise :)

don't bring your bf/husband shopping!

this is truly hilarious:

mudah saja

why is it that i get hurt too easily? why is it that when someone promised something, i hold on to that promise and wait and wait for nothing to happen? funnier when i know nothing is going to happen. i keep having hopes and putting faith in people. well the wrong people it seems. and i keep hurting myself.

maybe it isnt your fault. maybe its mine. but this is just too wrong. i feel betrayed, cheated and fooled. i know this is the time of the period when you would come back and say all those nice sweet things. and by the end of this phase, we'll be back to being strangers again. i admit that you're good at manipulating my feelings. you make me feel like you care, then you give me the silent treatment, and when i demand all those promises back from you, you act like nothing happened. ironically, thats the problem - NOTHING happened.

these feelings are just too unbearable. its unfair. dont make promises if you dont intend to keep them or EVEN to remember you've made one. i think i could live better that way then having to wait for your promises to come true. and stop saying you understand coz you dont. please dont do this to me again. i dont want to go through this again, resenting what you've done, yet at the same time, loving you and still wanting you to be around :( :( :(

Diana+ : Part 1

after almost a year of 'playing' with Diana+, finally i made full use of all 16 frames of the 120 film. still an amateur, i think i did pretty well. hee! *masuk dlm bakul, angkat diri sendiri*

my first roll of film, i only get 8 frames which are scannable. erk and among the eight pictures, not all are interpretable. i mean:


#1 insufficient light exposure, although i was outdoor on a bright sunny afternoon. mind u this is my very first shot ;)



#2 attempt on double exposure. Apiz helped made the second shot.


#3 attempt on camwhoring. FAIL abis. hehe


#4 a sight of food. i forgot to adjust the focus zoom. so you cant really see what im eating. btw this was last Ramadhan when i was breaking fast with friends AND was still a student. oh that makes me sound so old.


#5 another attempt on double exposure, plus im playing with lights. that's KLCC at the middle of the picture :)


#6 this is the first and ONLY perfect picture of the first roll! and i am proud of myself at that time, kononnya la, coz this picture IS perfect. right? ;p and if people ask, then, how Diana+ picture differ from those which are taken from ordinary digital camera, i proudly show them this pic(only). hehe


#7 and then i came across black & white 120film which was quite interesting.


#8 i dont know what went wrong with this frame but it turned out pretty cool. btw, this was taken by Shikin, i directed(and posed, try find me! ;p)


#9 double exposure. one of my favourites!


#10 and then i received this super-cool lens in my mailbox from someone truly special - Fisheye Lens! and this is my very first attempt using Fisheye lens, and it works! also, one of my favourites!

when most of my frames didnt turn out well, i got fed-up a lil bit and i declared myself helpless with Diana+ with low lights. so i asked Apiz to take charge of the next film under my supervision *ehem* (does that make taking photo with Diana+ sound important?) hee and so we went about Kuching looking for potential nice scenery.


#11 and then it was christmas (by Apiz)


#12 indoor. low lights. and this picture is almost perfect except for the blurry me, well thats because i was moving when Apiz took this picture. so Apiz have steady hands(and i dont)?? *sik puas hati*


#13 if i were the one taking this picture, i bet you wouldnt know whats that green thing coz it'll be all over the frame.


#14 again by Apiz.


#15 and we found out that, camwhoring with Fisheye works!

you know what, im getting tired of uploading these pictures. and there are lots more fail attempts i want to share with you before i got it ALL right in my latest roll of film. but i'll continue another time okie?

btw, happy Ramadhan all. happy fasting & happy ber-tarawikh & happy ber-ibadat :) :)

Giselle

since Yui came into the house, Giselle has became unfriendly and boring to human. she doesn't want to play with her toys anymore, or chase the dummy mouse i flagged in front of her face. all she does is chase after Yui, or spying on Yui, or sleep across Yui, and everything that involves Yui. now, everytime i took Giselle and carry her, she won't stay still in my arms for merely 5 seconds without her head turning around to look for Yui and when she sees Yui, she'll jump off my arms and the chasing begins, again. Yui is her first cat friend anyway, so i think she's actually excited to have a friend who looks very much like her. for the past 7 months, her regular friends are 3 humans who don't speak cat language in which i think the reason for her not meow-ing so much at home. haha that's my theory anyway. coz after Yui arrived, Giselle starts meow-ing loudly and when Yui was on heat last week and making very loud noise looking for a mate, the innocent-7months-old Giselle followed doing the same loud annoying noise. and now when Yui is quiet, Giselle is quiet too. looks like she has found a role model. hee!

so what i did is, i un-boring her! i took my hairband with two fluffy balls and put around her body.

1. see! a little accessories is always nice, rite? hee (Giselle: white, and that's Yui at the back, and Giselle is watching over Yui while Yui's eating, psycho hor??)

2. she struggles to get rid of the disturbing balls hanging around her body


3. after a few fail attempts, she rests for a while + keeping eyes on Yui

4. she knows she's helpless and she decided to just chill with that thing hanging around. now that's cute and not boring. hee!

tamarind deja vu

the sense of deja vu has its own way on getting into my head only when i'm in Kuching. especially during hari raya. coz thats when everyone - family+friends - are gathered together and somehow sometimes old stories are brought back into conversations and undeniable old flames might find its way to haunt some of us. well, at least that's what i always thought. i never thought that i could bring alive that deja vu feeling that i thought i could only get in Kuching, here in KL (oh btw, i'm in KL for a tad while).

last two days, i bought watson's tamarind body wash from watson retail (obviously) here in KL and the moment i smelled the tamarind fragrance (from the bottle), the deja vu sense immediately got into my head. the smell reminded me of a dear friend - Wani. as far as i could recall, the first time i bought the watson's tamarind body wash was 2 or 3 years ago when we both went to watson retail in Travillion. that's how vivid my memory of u is. oh Wani, if u're reading this, PLEASE do not misunderstood me. i dont think of u while im in the shower. oh damn now that i say it out loud, i might think of u. haha kidding!! i think of u once in a while (NOT in the shower), i recalled back the card u wrote to me when u were still in UPM saying how we might have grown apart by the distance but we will always be good friends like we used to be. it is an honour to know u; to have u close once in my life; to have a good chum whom i share the blast of the days rushing here and there, up and down every functioning escalator in every possible shopping mall in Kuching (sometimes in KL). and at this very moment, i miss u. i really do. live well, Wani :)

the beach boy

coming home to Kuching this time around feels a little bit different. something has changed somehow, in a way, but i really cant tell what is that 'something'. maybe its the phase where my life is in an intersection whereby i'm puzzled of where my next direction is.

despite the funny feeling i have inside my mind and my heart, i'm truly thankful that i'm home and all the beauties here kinda make me at the end of the day..

the cloud always looks good whenever i passed Jln Tun Jugah.

the starry night above my roof always makes me feel like crying if i stare at it more than two minutes.

laksa sarawak never fails me (ok la, maybe once or twice).

teh c peng always tastes good at anytime of the day.

Fluffy's stare always makes me want to bite her and chew her all at once.

the trees by the roadside always makes me feel safe and calm.

the complete dosage of laughters is best prescribed by agent 767.

Jln Pilu will always be a mystery yet nostalgic.

late evening sunny weather is the best weather ever.

and i fall in love again today.

this time, i fall for the beach boy...

reminiscence of you

there are people in life whom we would treasure for life. i took that hike up a hill with those bunch of people of mine. we were celebrating. celebrating the end of a book in our lives, at the same time, celebrating the beginning of a new chapter of a fresh book. then, everything seemed perfect. nothing seemed wrong, everything in the past felt like forgivable. all scars seemed healed. all wounds seemed mended. all problems seemed magically patched up. the finale chapter of the book was written anyways, no changes are necessary. as much as i wanted to end the pain on the muscles in my legs, i never want to let go of that moment, i do not want to be far from those people. everything just seems right again when they’re around. i forgot it was time for goodbyes until Shikin opened the door of her MAX which can only be opened from outside. and the hysterical laughs of camwhoring and teasing stopped there.

and i dreamt of u. counting days to finally meet u again. i miss u...

the cool uncle

Apiz is officially an uncle. he has a new niece. i heard she's a hot chick. i'm sure she is. and Apiz said his niece can just call him Apek. cool la u babe! hehehe...

for my hero

i could still remember clearly the days when u carried me from the back seat of ATOYOT without having to wake me up to the bed when i fell asleep in the car. i could still remember the mornings u woke me up and force me to bath for me to go to school. i could still remember u coming home from a jog and i thought u were Abang and i confidently described u very round just like the fan which u were hiding behind then and when i knew it was u, i think i blushed coz i realised i got the wrong person but u tickled me till i can barely breathe. the memory of u hugging me mid-running down st.teresa's hill after receiving UPSR results is still vivid in my mind. u jumping on the plane to KL and drive up to sri iskandar coming to my rescue i considered very heroic. u changing the punctured tyre on hari raya when i was the one driving the car with my girlfriends i thought very gentleman of u. there are so many more memories of us floating through my mind right now and they make me miss u so very much right at this moment. being a little girl that i was, i think i was closer to u than i was to Mak.

even when sometimes i think u dont understand me, i know u only want what's best for me. i know u'r doing your duty as a father, u'r looking out for your daughter the best way possible, above all, in your very own unique way. thank u Bapak for what u have done for me for all these years. i can never ask for a better man in my life as my Father. now that i've grown up, u can stop worrying bout me, well at least a little bit, and i will take care of you now..

happy Bapak's day, Mr Junaidi S.! I Love You~