just because i do

"dear.." she said. leaning on one side of her body against the door frame of their room.

he was watching ESPN when his lover called him. he looked up.

they stared at each other for a while. he was waiting for her next line.

she suddenly rushed to him and put her arms around his torso so tightly and started crying. surprised and confused, he held her back in return and asked, "what's wrong, love? what happened?"

she kept on crying. and cried. and cried. and didn't answer his questions.

he still didn't know what's going on, but he wrapped his arms so firmly around her body, giving her comfort and warmth. his chin resting on her newly shampooed hair. the way they held each other looked like they were two pieces of puzzle that fit so perfectly together that there were no room for air to pass through their intersecting parts. they sat there on the couch and held each other for the longest period ever without saying any words. the only sound that can be heard was the one from the TV box.

as he felt her shoulders relaxed a little, and as she stopped sobbing, he took her chin up til their eyes were at the same level. concern in his eyes. while hers are puffed from all the salty water coming out from them.

"i never want you to be sad. so i'm crying all my tears out on your behalf. for all your sad memories and sorrow feelings. now you will never be sad again. cause i did them for you. promise me you won't be sad any more." she finally spoke. her lower lips trembled with every words. she tried hard not to continue crying part two.

"but, love.." he attempted to speak.

only stopped by her.

"i love you too much.."

crazy love

i have a few posts sitting in my drafts box waiting to be posted in here. but the posts need some photo attachments to help you enjoy my boring yada-yada essay. but at the moment, i cant post them yet because i cant attach the photos, because my laptop get some seizure attack whenever i try to upload or download something from the internet. haha over dramatic, i know. and also, i cant write peacefully in this new space in KL i call my second home. because there is something watching my fingers moving up and down typing and its waiting the right time to jump on the keyboard and chew my fingers off. oh oh dramatic some more. and right now it's trying to eat off the laptop screen. ohh this is so scary~

so far, life has been great here. yesterday i went to my first Freehand Drawing class and i think it was a blast! although we only learned how to draw like a full page of eggs and circles and boxes, i think it was great. and drawing a perfect egg in a continuous line is harder than you think it is. you try lah! and thank God the lecturers are all fun people. yeay!

of course, i miss waking up in my bed in Kuching. i miss going out for breakfast with my cousin. i miss Saturday night fusion in Saddad Court. i miss baking cupcakes mid-morning till lunch hour and Bapak and Mak come home for lunch and they watch my cupcakes and they have these little smiles on their faces read 'nice smell of cupcakes, but i wanna eat my lunch on this table'. erk. maybe not. well, actually that's what i always thought of after i'm done with cupcakes at 12.30pm. i miss waiting for my parents and Farhana to come home for lunch and eat together with them. i miss teasing Farhana. and last night i cried missing Fluffy. i hope she's doing ok back home.but Alhamdulillah, i have thoughtful friends who constantly reminding me on skills to survive living away from home. thank you Sheila for reminding me to not skip any of my meals. you have really mendatangkan kesedaran to me the other day when you talk about skipping meals with your simple words. everytime i forgot to eat, i remember you ngerepok with concern bout not eating and getting gastritis. and thank you Apiz for reminding me not to waste my money buying unnecessary cute things. i cant believe you actually mock me and say i only buy them to take pictures and not use them. huh! but true also lah. thank you Dear. everytime i see cute things, i ask myself: will i ever use them, and will Apiz shake his head when he knows i bought it? (but i did buy the cute Ikea container set anyway. how lah. it looks sooo cute when arranged together. i swear i'll use them. and no. i wont take photos of them lining up descending in size.) next cute thing, i will do what you say ok? erk. oh oh ohh! and i met this new boy. he's not that cute. but he definitely has the X-factor. he's crazy sometimes all the times. everytime i'm not around him, i found myself always thinking bout him and missing him. i wish i can be with him all the time. err no no. scratch that. since he's a little cuckoo, i dont want to be around him all the time. maybe only at times when he's adorably cute and makes a fool of himself and crack me up like no  one else could. and i'm so happy that Apiz likes him too. and they actually found something in common.

meet Mickey, the mouse-trapped-in-a-cat's-body.

he's thoughtful you see. ALL.THE.TIME. trying too hard to be there for everyone. this was when he tried to help me get a table set up.

this is also the creature who jumps up and down my keyboard and chase the mouse my hand (while holding the mouse). you make my day, crazy fella. xoxo you.

when two equals two

matter regarding the heart, and involves a boy and a girl is sometimes very much complicated more than you know. when it is actually simple to love and to be loved, admit it that our desires and needs in life sometimes moves parallel and doesnt have a meeting point at any circumstances. that is when we have to build a strong (and flexible) bridge to connect those two lines so we can go to the other side at any desired time to support each other. and who knows if those lines might find a way to intersect at some point.

i have this thing bout me bout how i like to say things metaphorically, that sometimes people dont really get what i say, and sometimes the message doesnt really reach the dedicated persona cos that person doesnt really know if i'm talking bout/to him/her just cos i dont mention the issue directly, but sometimes, its just that they simply think i'm not talking bout them and plain ignore it.

it is so much easier to think like a little kid, no?

one day, Bapak was talking bout how hairdressers and chefs can easily get a PR status in the Australia. and Farhana said:

'apa hairdresser? rambut pakei baju?? pelik na juak?'

and then another time, Bapak said a friend of his died of 'sakit TB'. and Farhana the TV junkie said:

'aie! nangga TB (as in television, TV) boleh sakit kah??'

cilck here for more cute monsters by Lucy Doan! 

sometimes, all a girl wants is attention and gestures showing that we matter; and of course constant reminder that we are always loved and remembered :)

sweet tooth

here's another cupcake story. enjoy!

i think this design has grown to be one of my favs.

nice effect huh? good job plastic factory! hehe

one of my favs too!

designed by Mak. Rafflesia i call it :p

until we meet again!

superMan day

 i love you, Bapak! :) :) :)

Happy Father's Day to all Fathers across the universe!!

the mute elephant

i have one disturbing thing in my mind right now. one big thing. and i cant seem to tell anyone bout it, its just not right. but i am grateful that i will always have the Al-'Alim with me all the time for only He knows whats within me without me saying a word, and with His willing, i will be fine for He is also Al-Hadi.

"Verily Allah knows (all) the hidden things of the heavens and the earth: verily He has full knowledge of all that is in (men's) hearts."

Surah 35, Fatir (The Angels, Orignator) - verse 38

baking & decorating cupcakes help me get my mind off things too.

i turned into a happy cartoon bunny who floats around the house instead of walking everytime i finished a batch of cupcakes :)

and also Saddad Fusion tonight was awesome. i think it is the best Saddad Fusion ever. maybe also because there were two crowds - one routing for football who screamed 'oohs' and 'aahs' time and again; and, one cheering their pretty voices out for the bands on stage. anyhow, with performers singing in your neighbourhood songs like 'aku skandal' in French; some evergreen old soul rock songs which i heard before but never knew their title; and, a guy who looks very naive but really knows how to rock the stage with a guitar and his one of a kind voice (he did get the loudest applause i think), anyone would be uplifted and going back home still in awe. at least thats how i feel.

oh, i'm happier already! but the big elephant in the room is still there.

vibrancy

i go gaga over colourful things. and cute stuff too. if i happened to possess them, i usually take millions of photos of them before i put them into full use. but most of the time, i love them so much i keep them in the cupboard afraid i might wear them all out - e.g. i've got a photo frame i got on my 16th birthday still intact in its box, i've a colourful mug set i bought like 6/7 years ago still wrapped in brown paper, two summer dresses from 2 years ago waiting for the right time to be worn, lets just stop there ok. AND, at the end of the day year, its still there and defeats its own purpose. is there any name for this kinda habit? but i'm sure i'm not alone in this matter. so who here is overly penyayang and keep their stuff in a nice paper bag in a box in a cupboard, hands up!! owwh, so you're in denial, huh? its ok.. i feel you.. *doing the Joey wink (watch more Friends, will you)*

so this is a tribute entry to my childish fixation: my new found love of colourful pencil(s) and cute paperclips. please bear with me.

you feel me yet?

that's all. thank you. bye! :D

merriment

 

can't trust everything in the newspapers :p

84th birthday cupcakes :)

tea time cupcakes :)

i had fun fun fun :)

rhapsody for the soul

i first watched this video on a friend's Friendster profile page. i was immediately awe-stricken when i first heard it. since then, i found myself missing it once in a while while doing my daily chores and i would go to her page and watch it on loop. some of you might have watched this before, but just in case you haven't, why not i share this beautiful recitation of the Quran and may we find tranquility in this uproaring world in it :) i think it is best if you watch this with your headphones/earphones on, and let it pervades through your veins and bones, and stream along with your blood, and hopefully, will increase our faith to Him, the Originator. Subhanallah.

yet untitled

random awesome:

someone out of town:

ps: cant wait for Yuna's debut album :)