letter to Apiz

helo my beby..

it's 2010. finally, a new year is here, after all that happened in 2009. i would like to think that i am wiser today than i am on 1 January last year. i hope i am. do you think i am? well, maybe you couldnt tell coz i turned into a kid when i'm with you. (well thats coz you kinda pull me into that direction *grins*) and when i try to talk seriously like an adult with you *ehem* you'll start making funny remarks or faces and i'll join you. see how easily i got carried away by you AND how easily you influence me into doing stupid-fun things. hehehe and that is exactly what we're best at. having fun TOGETHER and at the same time appear ridiculous and fall deeply in love with each exertion.

remember how we started off the year beby? yes. the p***t incident. fun wasn't it? i was shaking ok. haha i scared we tenggelam in the mud! hahaha and the after party we had at bing!? the nite we laid out all of our hopes and dreams and wishes for the year 2009. i must say, out of the seven that i made, i only managed to fulfill three of them. the seventh, which is one of the three wishes, i hope is the biggest achievement and influencial among all.i vowed to make more people happy. i hope i made people happy. i hope i made many people happy. i hope i made more people happy than yesteryears. i hope i made you happy, beby.

i personally think that 2009 is the most educational year ever. i achieved a lot, made some new friends, reunited myself with some good old friends, found myself in crossroads over and over again, laughed my heart out often, cried my eyeballs out much, got a bachelor degree, fell in love everyday, awed by beauty always, found new fixations along the way, lost an uncle, amazed by the strength of a woman, decided human's behaviour stays a mystery, still wondering if magic is really magic, lost a beloved pet, pressured by the wall surrounding, floated on several cloud nine, learned to swim on my back, spent time with my sister, took care of Farhana for 45 days all on my own, welcomed lots of new kittens over the year, bid farewell to Kak Tina, and reached the highest degree of redha and tawakkal if anything happened to my parents while they're performing their hajj. for all that'd happened, i am truly thankful to Allah SWT for i might have stumbled along the way, but i did not fall out of love. i might have hurt ocassionally, but i've grew stronger after each episode. and i am thankful whole-heartedly that my parents are back from their vey own jihad safe and sound. and on the evening of 31 December 2009, after a rough morning of a harsh news about Giselle's departure, i saw His beauty once again, which reminded me that every sky has a silver lining. and i'm happy that i shared the evening with you, beby.

 rainbow on 31 December 2009

the eighth wish, the one that you made for me. you made me promise to make myself happy. being where i am this moment, with what i've seen thus far, and what it makes out of me today, i am happy. so i guess i've achieved the ultimate dream and wish and hope of 2009, and thanks to you who made me made that promise. we haven't spell out our hopes and dreams for this year beby, so that means we have to meet up cause this is serious matter, we must do it in person! hihihi

i miss you dear. i'll see you soon! :)

*love*