letter to Apiz

after a rollercoaster of bitter-sweet yet passionate and sturdy 10 years of love, i thought we were getting better at this long-distance thingy. at least i think i was stronger - that i could do this anytime anywhere. i admit it'll be a bit too conceited to claim that i could do this better than before. that i promise myself no more crying at the airport, no more melancholy silence in the car the night before we parted, no more 'goodbyes' but instead we say 'see you soon' - coz we do this ALL.THE.TIME. when in fact, i think i got worse. i turn from doing good to suck. and i think i suck even more right now that i'm missing you to the point that i do not know what to do. just got off the phone with you. but it didnt seem enough. i still wana hear you talk, even in your most gibberish sleepiest voice. even after seeing you for a whole day, it still didnt seem enough. i still wana watch you even when you're doing nothing but sleep while we're in the movie. you are like my vacation. my joy. my punch bag. my bestest buddy. my all. everything that i've seen, heard and touch, i want to share them with you. i want to run to you after an argument with a family member. i want to talk to you after a misunderstanding with a friend. i want to let you know what a stranger just told me. and i want to be the most with you after we had our very own quarrel, to make up with you and just melt one more time in your tender love. i enjoy being close to you. to have someone to run to when things get bad. someone to give me shoulders to cry on when the world seem evil from all sides. someone to give me a full warm hug when i just simply need one. someone i can whisper all my dreams and fears and tell me to dream bigger cause it is absolutely free-of-charge to do so. someone to always want to keep me safe and happy. someone who appreciate my presence and make me feel belonged. i think i've grown dependent on you. and dare i said, i was waiting for this day to come, where i've come out from my own bubble and join you in our bubble. sorry i made you wait, dear. i want you and the world to know that i love you til the end.

Di sudut termenung jauh
Mengenangkan nasib kita
Kita miliki separuh
Berbentuk hati cinta namanya

Walau kau jauh
Ku sentiasa menunggumu
Inginku imbas kembali memori

Walau kau jauh
Ku berjanji kan terus tunggu
Dipisah lautan biru

Ku mahu kau tahu
Aku kan terus menunggu

Jaga benar gambarku dalam telefon bimbitmu
Jangan pernah sekali kau buang
Seperti cinta ini yang terbuku
Akan bersemi jua

Terus menunggu
Kita kan bersatu
Terus menunggu
Ku mahu kau tahu