six sundays: medley

i have few things on my mind. so i'm gonna say few things.

1. i have this phobia of receiving texts or calls like really late at night (when i say late at night, i mean past 12am), and like really early in the morning. especially when i dont expect them. especially if it is from the people who are very close to me. this morning, i received a text from Bapak at 7.59am. he said one of his friend just died in KL earlier in the dawn. his wife was trying to wake him up for sahur, and he didnt respond. thats his story. when a part of me was still in shock upon hearing such news, when i struggled to hold up my tears when i break the news to Abang, there is somehow a serenity emotion giant sweep over my heart and head thinking how peaceful his soul is to experience death in his sleep in Ramadhan. i feel sad for his family still. one of his two children is still schooling, like in form 1 or 2. though we were not that close, but i know he is one of Bapak's very good friend. everytime Bapak come over to KL, he would trouble himself to go see Bapak wherever Bapak is. he also did bring his whole family to Muar to attend Abang's engagement and wedding ceremony. i knew him since i was a kid, like when he used to live in Kuching with his family, our family would always meet up for gatherings. and now, everytime i meet his children, they are like so approachable and nice that they didnt turn into snobs although they did experienced the life of the rich and famous. so maybe that is why i feel his lost too. the last time we saw him, which is in April this year, he looked so healthy and still kicking, joking around like usual. he was younger than Bapak. and i can imagine how Bapak is shocked when he heard about this. but Allah SWT has a better plan for all of us. may Allah rests Uncle Usup's soul in peace. may Allah forgives all his sins. may Allah grants him Paradise. may Allah protects his family. Amin. Amin. Amin. Amin. Al-Fatihah.

* Al-Fatihah too, to my late Nek Di, Uncle Y and Syafiq. they will always have a special place in my heart. may Allah SWT place them with the believers in one of His Paradises. Amin

2. you dont really know what you did, until someone ask what you've done. then only you'll start to trace back your steps and realised what you did.

3. we always get what we want when we are sleeping. in our dream. we always get what we want. like in your dream, you already bought that dress you wanted for so long, and you're truly happy bout it you go gaga in your dream. but then, a single screeching sound in the real world snatches the dress away from you. you meet this really cool new friend in your dream, whom you never see before in real life. a friend actually introduced you guys. new friend is cool, new friend take your hand and lets you stay for dinner, eventhough new friend just knew you not even for half a day. you wish all new friend is that nice in real world. when someone in my dream to bad things to me, a knight in shining armour comes in my defense even if it means Mr. Knight would have suffer some injuries in the process. and when i woke up from the sound of my alarm clock, i smile to myself thinking bout my real world knight in not so shining armour. but its fine, i would have run anyways if i see a man holding a shiny thing they call an armour. scary, dont you think? this is not zaman gladiator. just bring your brain where ever you go will do.

4. i come to the realisation that i admit i'm a realist. if its red, you stop. but sometimes, i still like to be a dreamer.

5. i cant post photos on FB. i dont know why. something to do with the firewall maybe. or the connection. but if its the firewall or the connection, how come i did upload photos on FB before, using the same laptop, same browser, same connection provider? maybe its the place. i dont even know if that has something to do with it. so i've been putting off a number of cupcakes photos on hold. and i feel its not right. not fair to those who bought my cupcakes but didnt get to see their orders in my album. cause i would post the photos of my cupcakes right after i'm done with every batch, sometimes i post it before i could deliver to the person whom ordered it! so, i'll just post them here instead. so these are two batches of cupcakes which i did before i left for Raffles. the ones with the Roses is my standard size cupcakes. while the bunch of pinks and purples and whites are the small size of cupcakes. they are cute in size. and when i start putting colours on them, i think they dont deserve to be in the stomach. they should be in a display rack with glass panels all around. i'm not gloating on my designs, ok. what i mean is, they just turn super cuter when they are in small scales.